Love

"Where there is love there is life." - Mahatma Ghandi

Am i really going to attempt to define this? I can’t imagine a more powerful driver than love. When I think of love I think of a force that brings out the very best in people; practices that better ones self, the other, the community, the earth and life in general . In context, love connects all of the other passions; love is certainly spiritual, love is certainly creative, etc. Ultimately, love may be everything and it certainly seems to be what most of us long for most. However, for whatever reason, most human beings struggle to love themselves, to love others deeply, to connect, and to serve.

If we think of the Earth as love, things can become kind of confusing. In nature, beautiful mountains come from violent eruptions and acts of transformation. Love is full of these contradictions. If you think of famous figures who are seen to have embodied love, Christ and Martin Luther King come to mind. Though they are thought of now as representations of love, during their time many people hated them. Why is this? As I talk about love, I don’t feel like I really understand it.

It is nonsensesays reasonIt is what it issays love

It is calamitysays calculationIt is nothing but painsays fearIt is hopelesssays insightIt is what it issays love

It is ludicroussays prideIt is foolishsays cautionIt is impossiblesays experienceIt is what it issays love

-English Translation of Erich Fried's, "Was es ist"

When talking about such a complex passion as Love, it is helpful to consult the great philosophers on the matter. Lebanese-American poet and philosopher, Kahlil Gibran, famously explores these inherent contradictions of Love in his collection of prose poetry fables, The Prophet. On love, he advises that you follow it's path, though it will be full of both happiness and hardship, for "even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning." If you choose to endure this path, you will be living life to it's fullest.

"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;For love is sufficient unto love."

In my own best definition, Love is something that promotes life and well being. There are many different forms and expressions of love, including the love you feel for family, yourself, your children and maybe even your country. It is a worthy suspect of contemplation and demands both faith and action. If you want a garden in your yard, you create the conditions for the flowers to thrive. You don’t create the flowers but they won’t thrive if you don’t carefully tend to the conditions for them to prosper. In essence, you’re co-creating something with this other force that is beyond our understanding. If we have faith that the vegetable or flower will grow and work with nature and its processes, I think we are exhibiting love and loving behavior. If we neglect those plants, then those plants will surely die. It is an absolutely obvious natural scenario of love. You need this same kind of love in all your relationships. You need to create the conditions that allow for the best possible outcome, tending the soil of a friendship or a relationship. As Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh acknowledges in his book,

"When we practice the art of mindful living, we water the positive elements in ourselves and each other. We see that the other person, like us, has both flowers and garbage inside, and we accept this. Our practice is to water the flower in our loved one, and not bring them more garbage. When we try to grow flowers, if they don't grow well, we don't blame them or argue with them. Our partner is a flower, If we take care of her well, she will grow beautifully. If we take care of her poorly, she will wither. To help a flower grow well, we must understand her nature. How much water and sunshine does she need?"

Hanh's book is a great exploration of just "how to love." In my own words, if you don’t do some shit, it’s not going to work. However, it can’t be too much and it can’t be too little, both important details which are only derived from doing. This is a core natural principle of how you evolve in anything.To close, I can't think of something more romantic than a french philosopher talking about love. Though very different from Thich Nhat Hanh's approach on the subject matter, Yann Dall'Aglio explores the same tenderness and connection needed in loving relationships in the modern age in this rather charming talk.https://www.ted.com/talks/yann_dall_aglio_love_you_re_doing_it_wrongLinks to Love:The Philosophy of LoveThe Science of Love in the 21st CenturyModern Love