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Human beings are pleasure seeking. We want to feel good all the time. You do and I do. We want more of what we like and less of what we don’t. We want to be around people we like and avoid those we don’t like. This is natural. We all want to be pain free.
Tying these ideas to our discussion of creativity, highly creative people want variety, excitement, something new, something different, more, more, more. Less creative types often long for security. “Play it safe. Stay between the lines. Stick with what works.” So, is one way of being better than the other? The answer is likely, no.
Highly creative types need the stability and “stick to it-ness” of less creative types. Less creative types can benefit from the energy and excitement that often surrounds the creative. We approach mastery when we realize, truly realize, that we are all interconnected and interdependent.
There was an interesting study done years ago. Researchers asked a kindergarten class to raise their hands if they were an artist. Everyone raised their hand. The same question was asked of a sixth grade class. Less than half raised their hand, and by the end of high school, only a few hands were raised. What happened? The simple answer: life.
All of us are capable of being highly creative. We start out that way. Then, inevitably, we experience criticism and we feel embarrassed, or worse, ashamed. And we start shutting down. Not everyone shuts down of course, but most do. We start conforming. We become fearful of making mistakes because, remember, we always want to feel good, and being embarrassed or ashamed after a mistake, feels bad.
When we coach people, part of what usually happens is that we help people become more and more comfortable with being uncomfortable. And with most, if not all growth, we must accept some discomfort. We are grown ups after all, and as such, we can tolerate a little uneasiness or anxiety. Uncomfortable feelings are part of life. And we can learn to embrace them. The question is: how?
We can begin by simply becoming aware of what’s happening inside. Are you peaceful, edgy, restless, sad, anxious? At some point of every day, if you’re honest, you likely experience all of these emotions. If you notice you are feeling some kind of painful emotion, see if you can just name it, and sit with it. Breathe into the emotion. Breathing in, for example, I’m aware of restlessness. Breathing out, I smile to the restlessness that is a part of me. See if you can do this for a few minutes before you run to the refrigerator, or grab the remote, or phone a friend. In doing so, you will increase your tolerance for what is unpleasant and exercise your mindfulness muscles. Over time, you will be able to simply rest with very difficult feelings, and what used to wreck you, will seem like a minor nuisance. And if you cannot do this yourself, there are lots of us out here who would be thrilled to help you. Just ask.
Cheers friends,
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