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Hello dear friends,
Writing this, I am exhausted. I spent three days in Southern Colorado with my 72 year old uncle J. We stayed in a teepee (literally) along the banks of a remote, raging, high mountain stream, caught our meals, and weathered a late year snow storm with no heat. At the end of that adventure , we drove to Crestone Colorado, to meet friends and my dear teacher, John P Milton for dinner. And at around 8:30PM drove five hours back to New Mexico, arriving around 2 AM.
Yet again, I pushed it too far. And today, I'm worn out, fatigued, grumpy and not very happy. And this is exactly where the practice of sending / receiving (Tonglen) comes into play. This ancient practice is wholesome. By wholesome, I mean that the practice is good for me, good for others and sustainable. The more we live life in a wholesome way, the more we benefit ourselves and others. This last few days, I violated "wholesomeness" by going too hard for too long, not really good for me, others, and certainly not sustainable. So I finished off this "winner" of a morning, by saying and doing a couple not so helpful things with my wife. Now, the effects are piling up. And I feel guilty to add yet another decoration to this glorious party.
Well, this is why we all need practice. We practice because we are human. We practice because we need help. We practice in order to adopt that which is wholesome, forgive ourselves when we fail, and begin anew. This pattern of balls to the wall, play hard, get after - it- ness, has been going on my whole life. My grandmother once said to me, "Ricky, honey, the reason you feel so bad right now is because you burn the candle on both ends, and then right down the middle."
In a few minutes, I'm returning to the sending / receiving practice to regain some much needed balance. If you're the type of person who goes too hard, is highly passionate, creative, wants to love more, or actually, any kind of person at all, sending / receiving, or anciently called Tonglen, is a HIGHLY recommended tool in the kit of life.
Cheers!
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